LightBears

Many years ago I met a young man who told me a story about how he managed to get through life. He said that whenever he had a happy experience, something that made him feel joy, nothing terribly out of the ordinary, just something that made him feel good, then he would put that memory in what he called his “Happiness Bank.”   

Just recently, I was reminded of this by a friend who likes to keep small items left randomly around her home, little mementos that remind her of people or happy events, and when she finds these items she feels happy and warm inside.  Her term for this is a “Smile Deposit.”  I was fascinated to meet someone else who thinks this way! 

And I know another person who uses the phrase and concept of “Postcards from God,” where when you see something that you really want to remember, you pretend your eyes and your brain can function like a camera:  if you deliberately open and then shut your eyes on a particular scene, like a camera shutter taking a photograph, you can actually “capture the moment.”  I tried this on two occasions during a special trip I had taken to New York City, and surprisingly enough after many years, I can still bring to mind those two images, complete with feelings, that I had saved in this fashion.  Remembering them always gives me pleasure and a secret delight that I have a special way of remembering!!  Now, one might assume I went forward through my life taking similar “postcards” but sadly, like many things, I did not continue to implement the process….  Living life in a state of semi-consciousness, it’s easy to let good moments slip away.

Life, we all know, has its definite challenging moments, and sometimes difficult spans of time, when we really have to struggle to keep the darkness, sorrow, grief, etc. at bay.  Days when it’s all we can do to get up and dressed in the morning and go on with our day.  I have a tendency toward what used to be called melancholia, and it’s easy to become sort of like the character Eeyore in A.E. Milne’s “Winnie the Pooh.”  But I learned over the course of time that Eeyore really could be a wet blanket and sometimes he didn’t have a lot of friends because they found him tiring to be with.  And I finally figured out that *I* didn’t enjoy spending time as Eeyore myself!  So I resolved to be as conscious and mindful as possible as regards the emotional state in which I allow myself to dwell. 

And so, enter: The Happiness Bank! 

Whenever I have a fleeting memory of a fun or exciting or special time, I take a moment to dictate a brief memo to myself and save it as a small email.  And periodically I take those emails and combine them into a sort of e-journal on my computer.  It’s called making Smile Deposits!  As I age, I want to be sure I don’t permit those special memories to get lost, combined in the everyday sludge of memories so that when I look back, my inner landscape is painted in beige, brown and other uninteresting colors, giving me the misleading impression that my life has been boring, nothing particularly worthy of note, which can lead to the impression that I have somehow “wasted” my life. 

When I take the effort, and time, I actually think my life has in many ways been somehow “larger than life,” as one person told me.  It certainly hasn’t been boring!

In talking about this, an old story comes to mind, of an elderly woman who was being shown around the “old age home” (as they used to call it) where she was going to take up residence.  Her escort was surprised by the woman’s enthusiasm and positive comments during the tour.  When asked, the elderly woman exclaimed, “Oh, you see, I just *know* I’m going to love it here, because I’ve already made up my mind to be happy!”   That is a very smart individual indeed. 

We don’t always have conscious control of our emotional experience, but it is possible, through awareness and focus, to change our mood by shifting what we are doing/looking at/thinking about in the moment.  Sometime, we don’t have to let our moods, which often are temporary in nature, rule our view of life or keep us from savoring the goodness of it. We can make conscious use of a Happiness Bank to offset the mood and toggle the “off” button on the darker mood in favor of a more positive and hopeful outlook.

*Important Note*:  In writing this, I in no way am intending to minimize the debilitating extent of deep grief, chronic depression, or similar mood disorders or challenges.  I encourage anyone who feels “stuck” in such states of mind to seek help, whether professional or not, because there is help in many forms that can enable a person to transform their life experience with the added support of someone who is an expert in the area.  As I write this blog, I want to emphasize that I am not a trained professional, I know first-hand what it is like to slog through life forever in a dark mood, and what I offer here is simply the result of my own life experiences and learnings.  I am one human being out of many, and I do not claim to know the “perfect solution” or anything like it!  

To come back to topic, I would like to share a moment that I have made a permanent resident of my own Happiness Bank.  Two, actually, because they are so juicy!!

One hot summer day, I had been kneading bread dough to bake a nice fresh loaf of bread, and my hands were covered with the scent of the yeast that would help the loaves to rise.  I went out and sat in the sun for a little rest and shut my eyes in order to soak up the warmth and beauty of the moment.  After a few minutes, I felt a tiny tickling sensation on my hands, and looked down in curiosity at where they hung limply by my sides.  I was amazed to find that they were literally covered with yellow jackets/hornets, busily crawling over and between my fingers, tasting the yeasty flavor left by the bread dough. 

At an earlier point in my life, I might have been inclined to leap to my feet with a shriek of fear and start madly dancing about and waving my arms to dislodge them – and, if I had indeed done so, I imagine I would probably have received several stings because I had startled them.  However, I was in a very peaceful relaxed state of mind, and was more curious than afraid, as I watched them busily roaming around my hands.  They were incredibly gentle, tickly in a way, and looked very peacefully relaxed themselves, so I was able to sit calmly and enjoy their beauty.  And they were so beautiful, their yellow furry coats glistening in the sunshine, their black legs and tastebuds/tongues reflecting the light.  It made me obscurely happy inside, to see them so relaxed and peacefully enjoying themselves. 

And so I sat, admiring them, and soaking up the magic of the moment.  Eventually they tired of what they were doing and flew off a few at a time, ignoring me completely because of my immobility and perhaps sensing that I did not pose a threat to them.  This is a shining memory that I have safely tucked into my own Happiness Bank, for sure!!

The second major entry that I would like to share with you is of a warm summer day when we had been driving in the mountains nearby.  The sun was hot, and the pavement had soaked up the heat of the sun.  There had been a sudden rain shower, brief in nature; and we happened to be driving up a small hill toward the rise in the road ahead.  The rain stopped, but the sun was not obscured – and on all the pine trees around us, drops of rain glistened in the sunshine, looking like radiantly beautiful diamonds lit up by the sun.  A warm, wonderful scent of hot wet asphalt rose from the road beneath us, and most miraculous of all, there was a slight mist on the road ahead.

As the sun’s rays permeated the mist, it became almost unbearably beautiful, glowing with gentle light, and somehow looking like what one might suppose the entry to Heaven, the traditional “Pearly Gates,” might look like.  The experience lasted only a few moments, but what added to its special quality was that both of us had similar responses of awe and joy at the same moment.  I doubt, unless I see a unicorn, that I will again have such an amazing, soul- and heart-touching experience in this lifetime.  Another extremely important entry in my Happiness Bank!!

So… why am I sharing these intimate moments with you, and what am I talking about?  Why write this blog at all?

The simple answer is, HOPE. 

I offer to you the idea of the Happiness Bank, the Smile Deposit, to help you remember even in the darkest of times that there is always Hope!  Hope for a different emotion, a different outcome, a different and more uplifting opportunity to enter your life and fill your heart with warmth to stave off the darkness.  We all go through dark times.  And we all need a helping hand now and then.  What we have is hope, and love, and (when Eeyore is not in a dominant position within us) light!!

So, my dear friends and readers, I encourage you to look for opportunities – either past, or yet to come – to add to a Happiness Bank for yourselves.  It’s never too late to start, you know?!!

As one LightBear to another, remember that the Light within will always outshine the darkness without – so share your Light, use your Happiness Bank or Smile Deposits, and be a true LightBear!  It doesn’t take much to make a positive difference in another person’s life, and in the world.

I wish you many moments of peace, contentment, joy, happiness, and more whenever possible.  And I send you many blessings!!